she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
In America we eat man semen.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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