The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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