This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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