Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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