No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
