that's an acceptable place to lick
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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