No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
