Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
