His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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