i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
