I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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