bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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