i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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