He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
