We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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