if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
