I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
