Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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