So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
