he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
is it fun? or sober?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
