I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
These tits shall not be calmed
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
