My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
