i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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