She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
