I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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