I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
