You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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