420 ftw
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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