in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So many bounce houses so little time
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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