Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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