dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
