I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
