it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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