he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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