so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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