biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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