I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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