We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
