you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
