i would punch a child for taco bell
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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