sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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