Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
