So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
