I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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