So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
