I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
