i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
