just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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