Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
