in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
